So, how good are you at relationships? I know for us guys, we may struggle on this to a degree (in some cases apathy is the starting point of our challenge). We'll if you have some relationships not working as you would like, I came across the following and share it for your consideration (and remember the "Decision 1, The Buck Stops Here" info shared a good few weeks back - on our own accountability?) The following builds upon that and we'll summarize this as Quick Lesson #1 (aka Relationships 101).
What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? One answer is the "100/0 Principle": That being you take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship and expecting nothing (the 0) in return. When I read about this - I thought doing this "100/0 Principle" is not natural for most of us. It takes a real commitment to the relationship and significant self-discipline to think, act and give 100%.
To pursue the "100/0 Principle" you apply it to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to family, friends and work associates. It is as follows:
STEP 1: Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it.
Show respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
STEP 2: Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.
STEP 3: Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how bad or annoying) to affect you.
In other words, don't take the bait.
STEP 4: Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.
The Principle Paradox: This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for those that try to pursue this. And if you would like to read more on this, read "The 100/0 Principle" book (and if you have any comments, please let us know if this helps you).